Tampilkan postingan dengan label FREELANCE WRITERS. Tampilkan semua postingan
Tampilkan postingan dengan label FREELANCE WRITERS. Tampilkan semua postingan

Senin, 16 Januari 2012

Ed Palilla's "From the Outhouse to the Poorhouse" Movie Review of That chick with that tattoo on her back or whatever…

Monday, January 16, 2011
Written by Ed Palilla, talent network news staff
Twitter @pittsburghace
Photo Sources: IMDB.com
---

A review of 'The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo' from someone you really wouldn’t expect to watch it.

     Last week I went to see the new film The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo based on the book with the same title. Amongst the people I went with to see it, I was in the minority because I had not read any of the books of the trilogy (Dragon Tattoo/Played with Fire/Kicked the Hornets’ Nest). Those that had were glowing with anticipation to see this American version of the movie. (A Swedish version was made in ’09). Despite not knowing much about the plot, I found it gave me an advantage because I got to discover the story and figure it out as I went.



     Without giving away too much about it, I’ll try to explain the 2 hour 38 minute movie. It takes place in Sweden with a publisher (Daniel Craig) that has just been public embarrassed. He is his recruited by a business man to investigate a murder of his niece 40 years prior. (Craig) eventually recruits the protagonist of the story, the girl with the dragon tattoo (played by Rooney Mara, the granddaughter of the great Rooney Family). She comes from a very troubled past, which you are given a glimpse of in the early parts of the movie. The 2 of them research and work toward solving the mystery. I am not going to give you any details and spoil it for you.

     Overall I really did enjoy this movie. It has a great murder mystery that pulls you into the story. Rooney Mara does a great job as the girl, and Daniel Craig is good in it as well while maintaining his standard look of “I am trying to solve 345/54” throughout the entire movie. It’s long, so make sure you get the big popcorn and use the bathroom before it starts.

Grade: Worth watching, but wait till it comes out on DVD*

* I have a rule with my best friend on telling each other about movies to avoid over hyping a movie. There are 3 ways to rate a movie 1) Worth seeing in theaters 2) Worth seeing, but wait till it comes out on DVD 3) Don’t waste your time watching it.

"A Biased Review" | 2011 Year-in-ReviewPart 2 of 2

January 16, 2012 
Written by - Meat Park 
Twitter - @meatpark 
Photo Source: Billings Gazette
---

Welcome all, to PART 2 of my 2011 year-in-review rating different categories of events on how much they ruled or, in most cases, didn’t rule.  Let’s get right to it and finish last year off.

A Biased Review 2011 Year-in-Review

Economy – 2/5
Quick, go check your bank account.  Do you have enough to survive this month?  Yeah, I don’t either.  Thanks to overvalued property, unregulated banks and the desire to chase down the American Dream, we’re all poor.  On the bright side, I am still able to get loaded on a case of beer and order a large pizza for less than 20 dollars.



Sports – 1/5

Hockey – Boston Bruins won the cup, and no one likes people from the Northeast.  The Patriots and Red Sox are both teams that nobody likes, so sending a championship up for hockey makes me feel like they’re not going to appreciate it.  Combined with the fact that, for the majority of 2011, the very best hockey player in the world was ON our team, but unable to play due to concussions made me have a very bad taste in my mouth by year’s end.  This is not including the fact that Geno was hurt early 2011, and a myriad of other terrible occurrences that happened in the rink.

Football – Green Bay Packers beat the Steelers.  I don’t need to go into detail here do I?

Baseball - St. Louis Cardinals

Basketball – Dallas Mavericks

I’m not going into detail about either of these because I THINK, as a person catering mostly to people in Pittsburgh, there’s not a lot of my readers who watch more than 15 seconds of basketball in an entire season.  The Pirates are a yearly disaster, sucking most of my will to live and desire to watch live baseball by the time game 20 rolls around.  KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK NUTTING, THANKS FOR EVERYTHING!

I also did an extensive research (one Google search) for other popular sports in the U.S.  One of the results was “Combat Sports”.  I’m not sure what happened in the wide world of Combat Sports this year, but I can promise it was awesome with a name like that.

Technology – 2/5

This section was written by a close personal friend and tech guru; @brianedwards.  He is currently a marketing director at some hoity-toity hi-tech company, and he was kind enough to share his thoughts on technology…

Everyone Got a Smartphone

     It's been building every year for the last few years, but now, chances are that you and everyone you know has a smartphone.  For the most part, they are all big touch screens that have the internet, apps, and a camera on the back.  Most everybody is dumping their Blackberries and jumping on an iPhone or Android device.  This is a good thing because Blackberry as a company is the funniest/most tragic thing that happened in tech in 2011.
  
     Blackberry basically invented smartphones but somehow gave up trying to come up with new ideas in 2007.  They made as far as color screens and cameras and just called it a day.  Everyone in the leadership of that company is either mentally handicapped or completely wasted.  Don't believe me about the wasted part?  Tell that to the crew of the intercontinental flight that had to TURN AROUND ON ITS WAY TO CHINA because 2 high level Blackberry executives were so drunk and disorderly that they had to be put in restraints.

     It's worth mentioning that even though everybody has a tiny device in their pocket that is connected to everything all the time and better than any computer they have ever owned, people spend an unbelievable amount of time complaining about their smartphones.  I'm not directly quoting Louis C.K. here, but he summed it up like this:  "The worst cell phone in the world is a miracle of modern science."   Stop complaining.


All Your Friends Think They Are Interesting
    
Now that all your friends have smartphones, staying friends with many of them has likely become pretty tough.  That's because everyone now thinks that everything they do or think is interesting.  They'll tell you when they wake up in the morning, take a picture of their coffee and talk about how badly they needed it, follow up with some cryptic comments about work drama, check in EVERYWHERE, and complain in a way that sounds like they're not complaining and also find dozens of ways to sound humble while bragging.  It's insufferable.

     Heap on top of this the massive explosion of social networks that attach themselves to other social networks so you can just start clipping and tagging things that you like willy-nilly and spamming the hell out of your friends with them, and you will see why 2011 was one of the most disastrous years in the history of the internet.


Old People Discovered Social Networking
   
In 2011, old people all over the world discovered social networking.  The implications range from everything to your parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles wanting to be your Facebook friends to ignorant exposes in stuffy old people publications that basically conclude that Twitter is directly causing violent revolutions all over the world.  Our only saving grace as a generation is that old people only seem to be able to figure out Facebook, and we can all just start blocking them and telling them we don't use it.

Every Company Ever Made a Tablet Computer

     In 2010 Apple introduced the iPad and sold millions of them.  They continued to sell millions of them in 2011.  Every other company on the face of the planet made a tablet to compete with the iPad this year and some even sold as many as a dozen of them.  This isn't a pro-Apple statement.  It's a statement of fact that really underlines how poor most tech companies are at understanding what actual people want.

     A tablet computer is basically a giant smartphone that doesn't make phone calls and makes it even easier for dudes to view inappropriate content on the internet everywhere they go.   Pro tip for all you other manufacturers out there.  Just get a big battery, a nice screen, make it cheap, and let dudes know how fast the web browser is, and you'll have yourself a winner.


Tech Companies Failed At Marketing

     Do tech companies watch their ads or show them to real people before they put them out there?  Do they learn from their mistakes? Are they all high as kites?  The answers are no, no, and yes.
   
     Consider every DROID commercial ever.  Every last one of them looks like a terrifying scene from some not too distant future where machines rule the world.  It's either that or the DROIDs are in car chases in black vans with missiles and stuff like some kind of top secret weapon that every villain in the world is out to get.  I don't know about you guys, but I'm scared as hell of the Droid RAZR.

Parts 1 & 2 Full Review;
  • Politics – 0/5
  • Science – 5/5
  • Entertainment – 3/5
  • Deaths – 3/5
  • Economy – 1/5
  • Sports – 1/5
  • Technology – 2/5
  • Overall Score – 42%

I’ve really got to stop writing about things I dislike, as it’s having a major effect on my usually sunny disposition in life.  Overall, 2011 was a below average year though.  Let’s hope that 2012 brings all kinds of awesome and unique things to the table.

However, until next time, keep living the dream.

@meatpark

You can follow @meatpark on twitter.  In fact, he’s always looking for new and interesting things to cover in his “Biased Reviews”, so give him a follow and tell him you like his beard.


READ: Part 1 of 2 | "A Biased Review" | 2011 Year-in-Review 

Jumat, 06 Januari 2012

Ed Palilla's "From the Outhouse to the Poorhouse"Pittsburgh in 2012, What's Ahead?

Friday, January 07, 2011
Written by Ed Palilla, talent network news staff
Twitter @pittsburghace
Photo Sources: Lower Manhattn
---


What to look forward to in 2012.
After complaining a goodamount about 2011, let’s look at some off the great things going on thisyear, especially in Pittsburgh.

1)    Yet another Steelers playoff appearence.
2)    The return of Sidney Crosby?
3)    The Malkin-Neal-Sullivan line.
4)    PittsburghInternational Auto Show at David L. Lawrence Convention Center (Feb 17-20)
Lots of new makes and models from all over the world.
5)    Cityof Pittsburgh Marathon (May 6)
Brings a ton of money into the city. Also, nice to see 25,000 people keeping inshape. I know I am not.
6)    PedalPittsburgh (May 22)
The Pittsburgh Marathon’s little cousin. The bike race around the city that hasmany levels of length from 5 miles to 60 miles.
7)    ThreeRivers Arts Festival (June 1-10)
The true beginning of summer to me over Memorial Day. It just doesn’t feelright until I have eaten fair food sausage, pulled pork, stromboli and especiallyfries with cheese, standing at The Point
8)    The PointPark Water Fountain actually working this year????
9)    Kennyat Heinz again (June 30)
Perhaps the best tailgate of the year. Always soooooo much fun.  
10)  The3 Rivers Regatta
It’s always cool to go up to Mt. Washington or West End Overlook and see all 3rivers just full of boats. Plus Zambelli always puts on a great show for the 4th.
11)  Thepossibility of the Pirates being in 1st place in the Central in Julyagain!!!
12)  RibFest
Do I really need to say more?
13)  Light-Upnight (Nov 18)
A perennial highlight of the beauty of the Pittsburgh Skyline. The ice rink isPPG place is cool, but my favorite part is the gingerbreadhouse/Santa-around-the-world display on the ground floor of PPG 1.
Enjoy 2012 and get out to as many of these as you can. Youwon’t regret it.

Follow talent network
talent network Twitter
talent network Facebook
talent network YouTube Channel
Party Planning, Entertainment Ideas Contact talent network, inc.

Kamis, 05 Januari 2012

'Rich and Almost Famous' by Rich Miller | People and things that need a better 2012

Thursday, January, 2012
Written by Rich Miller, talent network news staff
Twitter @rmillertime24
Photo Source Credit: And Her Little Dog Too

---

It's 2012 now, 2011 is in the books.  It was a great year for me as I took a lot of major steps in almost every aspect of my life. Towards the end of 2011 I needed a break from writing, I actually wrote more before I had this blog, go figure. I'll get a little more personal in upcoming posts, but it’s a New Year now and for some a chance for a new beginning.  Many are hoping to lose weight, quit smoking, or just be an all-around better person.  Many will lose focus and give up faster than a Republican nominee.

Here’s a list of people who need to have a good 2012:



Ray Lewis:  Lewis is getting up there, and I’m curious how much he has left in the tank with this being the Ravens best shot at a Super Bowl in years. Plus with Gadhafi, Bin Laden, and Kim Jong Ill all dead, the market for potential psychopath dieticians of second and third world countries is at an all-time high.  The time is now for Lewis to have a realistic chance to do something in his field after football.

Justin Timberlake: Dude, come on. You could be good at music or suck at acting. Stop making Best Buy commercials with Peyton Manning and the San Diego Chicken, and make another catchy album, so I can have something in common with the girls I date again.

Kody Brown:  Bad enough you’re a Mormon reality “star”, but four wives is a lot of headaches.  He should look into Bayer or Tylenol endorsements.  He could co-star with Donald Trump.

Kris Humphries: I’m not sure if he saw the show because I haven’t, but there’s no way he didn’t see the video.  At least he married on his talent level.

Andy Reid: It wasn’t his call to invest more in Nnamdi Asomugha and Vince Young than his entire group of linebackers, yet he insists on taking the blame.  The Eagles have a lot of talent, but need to be restructured.

Steve Pederson: Your hiring history is skeptical at best. Wife beaters and compulsive liars typically don’t have solid resumes, but you sir: your cup is half-full.

Anyone who participated in Occupy Whatever: You shat in a bag for a few months, yet Wal-Mart still stands. What were you trying to accomplish again?

Everyone wants to have a good year; here are some things I would like to see in 2012:
  • The next seasons of American Horror Story and Walking Dead to be as good as last season.
  • Improved hockey helmets so I can watch my favorite players actually play instead of seeing their brains get turned into mashed potatoes.
  • Jerry Sandusky stumbles and falls awkwardly backwards onto a wooden post.
  • Hangover 3. Just to see if they would change anything this time.
  • A plow truck in Mt. Washington. Oh and a cab on Carson.
  • More Facebook gym check-ins.  Seriously keep reminding me you work out.  I don’t want you people getting lazy.And finally…Lots of snow at Seven Springs, lots of good friends and cherry bombs during Pens games at Carson City Saloon, lots of short skirts the first nice weekend in April, and many more talented musical artists coming out of this fine city.

Kamis, 29 Desember 2011

"A Biased Review" | 2011 Year-in-ReviewPart 1 of 2

December 29, 2011 
Written by - Meat Park 
Twitter - @meatpark 
Photo Source: Billings Gazette
---

Welcome all, to my 2011 year-in-review.  This is part 1 of 2, rating different categories of events on how much they ruled or, in most cases, didn’t rule.  Let’s get right to it.

A Biased Review 2011 Year-in-Review

Politics - 0/5
I needed to get the most terrible thing I could think of out of the way first.  I’ve never thought of myself as overly political; in fact, most of my life I’ve avoided them because I think it’s a broken system.  Over the past few months, I found myself following stories online about the way things are running over in D.C.  In an effort to retain readers (all 7 of you), I certainly don’t want to use this blog as a podium for my political opinions.  As I said above, I think that politics are broken, and 2011 made no effort to hide that fact. Congress has totally lost their collective minds at this point.  The people currently running our country are the same people who cut our funding for NASA while declaring that pizza is a vegetable, the same group who refuses to make large corporations and banks accountable for their unethical actions against citizens while over half of the U.S. is considered poor or low income. These are our elected officials.



They are currently passing a law allowing the unethical detaining of any person they deem a “terrorist threat” when the US is in a “time of war” (Google search NDAA, and cry yourself to sleep tonight).  At the same time, they are also passing a bill (SOPA) that will eliminate free speech, small business growth and the freedom of expression online buy “cracking down” on illegal use of copyrighted material online.  Basically – if you put a cover of yourself playing your Melissa Etheridge song, the company who owns rights to that song can shut down any site that link to your cover song.  In other words, it’s like shutting down every branch of a bank because one location had one stolen piece of property in a lock box, or cancelling cable service for a city because one person had an illegal black box.   The scariest part of all this? They aren’t consulting professionals, but rather listening to lobbyist and other elected officials with little to know education on this bill.  Having politicians pass laws while using no subject matter experts on the Internet censorship bill is the equivalent of 20 marketing professionals voting on which surgery to perform in the operating room.  I’d rather hit myself in the foot with a sledgehammer 5 times a day than think about politics. 


Science – 5/5
Now that we have the most horrible thing in the world out of the way, let’s get into something that didn’t suck at all this year.  Namely; science.  In a time of infinite information sharing, knowledge at everyone’s fingertips and huge discoveries every day, it never ceases to amaze me how many people are obsessed with the inane garbage that is put on the major three TV networks every night from 8pm – 10pm for 6 nights a week.  We’ve come further with our scientific discoveries in the last few years than anyone could’ve imagined, yet people are still focused on teaching creationism in schools, and how legalizing gay marriage is ruining our country.

Now, don’t get me wrong.  I really enjoy seeing people beat the ever-living life out of each other based on the most inconsequential things on reality TV.  I love to hear about Justin Beiber’s possible love child, or not being able to turn on a television without hearing about what “shenanigans” the cast of the Jersey Shore had gotten into this week.  However, at times these things just aren’t enough to quench my need for knowledge.

Here are some of the most unreal things that happened this year in science:
  • They’ve developed a new technology for skin grafts, basically eliminating the dangerous recovery time and chance of complications from burns - http://tinyurl.com/6x433ox
  • Scientists have discovered a planet 600 million light years (3,527,175,204,005,760 miles) away that could possibly be earth-like enough to sustain human life, as we know it - http://tinyurl.com/837dm2h
  • While working with the Large Hadron Collider, physicists may have taken a step closer to discovering the Higgs Boson particle, which would give great insight into how the universe was created - http://tinyurl.com/6pbzdzd


Entertainment – 3/5
When I talk about entertainment, I like to think of it as a collection of music, movies and videogames.  With as many terrible albums that were released (see previous post), there was also a lot of quality music that came out.  For every Black Eyed Peas and Katy Perry song that hit number one, there were albums released by Wiz Khalifa and Bon Iver to offset the horror. 

Movies were the same way to me.  For every single person with no taste in story or character development that went to see the new Twilight or Fast 5 movie, there were pretty good movies like Bridesmaids and X-Men First Class that were released.  As an FYI, if you happen to like the Twilight series, you’re an idiot.  There are literally MILLIONS of books in circulation that are better than that garbage.

"Skyrim" came out.  That’s all I’ll say about video games, as I believe that game alone will warrant its own “Biased Review”.


Deaths – 3/5
I’m going to have to score this one right in the middle.  For every major contributor to society we lost, there was also an offsetting death of a horrible person.  Some major deaths that come to mind are Dennis Ritchie, Steve Jobs and Christopher Hitchens.  Both Jobs and Ritchie were amazing contributors to our technological advancements, and Hitchens was an author and linguist with strong ties to rationality, skepticism, and atheism.  His writings drove people to question everything and challenged what we accept as the “norm” all while pissing off a lot of religious nut-jobs.  Two thumbs up in my book.

Like I said above though, for every loss we experienced that hurt us as a society, people like Bin Laden, Gadafi and Kim Jong Ill passed, really cutting down on the amount of jagoff dictators we have running around.


COMING NEXT WEEK: Part 2 of 2 | "A Biased Review" | 2011 Year-in-Review 


Follow talent network
talent network Twitter
talent network Facebook
talent network YouTube Channel
Party Planning, Entertainment Ideas Contact talent network, inc.

Kamis, 22 Desember 2011

Ed Palilla's "From the Outhouse to the Poorhouse"Festivus for the Rest of Us

Thursday, December 22, 2011
Written by Ed Palilla, talent network news staff
Twitter @pittsburghace
Photo Sources: falselogic, mockingwords, blogs babble, nbc/seinfled
---

Although this weekend may be Christmas, it is also a holiday that is just as important, Festivus. As depicted by the episode “The Strike” of Seinfeld, Festivus is a secular holiday celebrated on December 23 as a way to celebrate the holiday season without participating in its pressures and commercialism. As someone who hates the pressures and commercialism of Christmas, it’s a nice fit.

Ed Palilla, Festivus, talent network news

  I do not have a 13-foot aluminum pole I purchased on line at home. Nor do I plan on doing the Festivus meal or the Feats of Strength. But I find the Airing of the Grievances to be quite important. Because I got a lot of problems with you people! And now, you're gonna' hear about it.

Ed Palilla, Festivus, talent network news

1) Christmas before Thanksgiving: On of the reasons for Festivus. Why can’t we just enjoy Thanksgiving for a day, instead of destroying it before it starts? Thanksgiving is about Black Friday shopping anymore, instead of getting together with family and friends to do something really American; Overeat and watch NFL football. 

2) Congress; Republicans; Democrats; Tax Cuts; Universal Health Care; All of it.



3)  The Rapture: Why is it that every couple years, some religious psychopath/sociopath has to come out and tell everyone the world is going to end? We need to institute some type of rule where we hook them up to a lethal injection table. Then tell them that if they are wrong we are starting the flow and they die no matter what. I bet a lot of those predictions will stop.

4) People who believed that old fool and the Rapture:
How did that whole “empty my life savings to make billboards and spend everything before I die” thing work out? These people should be prohibited from reproducing.

5) You, Kruger. My son tells me your company stinks! You couldn't smooth a silk sheet if you had a hot date with a babe...I lost my train of thought.

6) The Penguins training staff:
How can you not keep anyone on the ice? How has no one been fired from it yet?

7) Hockey Helmets: More and more people are getting knocked out, and no changes to helmets have come along. The helmets are already thin. Football has been researching and redeveloping helmets for a decade. How is hockey, especially the NHL, so far behind? Here is a great article on it.

8) Twilight: Can’t understand why it is popular. If you did what Edward did, you would have a restraining order against you. They could have at least picked a hot girl to play Bella. Kristen Stewart is not attractive and has the same emotions and acting ability as a moldy piece of cheese.

9) Kim Kardashian… actually all the Kardahsians. Go. Away.

10) You too Jersey Shore. Your run is over.

11) Courtney Stodden: The fact that I even know who you are upsets me. What has she even done other then married the creepiest guy on the planet, and how is he not registered on Megan’s Law?

12) Network Television: With how many good shows there are on cable and HBO/Starz/Showtime, why won’t they start taking some chances. It honestly seems like they just change out the actors, change the name of the show, and movie it to a different night. Rinse. Repeat.

13) Most of Hollywood: Fast Five; Green Lantern; Scream 4; Rise of the Planet of the Apes; Red Riding Hood; Green Hornet; Arthur; The Ring 3; Final Destination 5; Big Mammas Like Father Like Son. Every single one of these were movies released this year, were either remakes or another episode of a past movie, and got killed in the reviews.

14) More of Hollywood: Jack and Jill; Just Go With It; The Dilemma; Zookeeper; Drive Angry; Season of the Witch; The Roommate; The Change-Up; From Prada to Nada; Monte Carlo; Larry Crowe; New Years Eve; Shark Night 3D. These were all movies that were green lit and released this year. That is all.

15) Time Magazine: For choosing your Person of the Year to be “The Protestor”. Don’t encourage behavior that includes living in tents in the middle of a city and defecating in Ziploc bags. All they did was sit around and beg because they don’t want to work for it. Does there need to be a reform of tax reductions and write offs? Yes. But that is a conversation for another day.

    Now is the time where I would select someone to do the Feats of Strengths, but I would probably break something. Have a Happy Festivus/Hanukkah/Kwanza/Christmas, and may you enjoy what it is really about. Eat, drink and be merry with those that matter most to you.



Follow talent network
talent network Twitter
talent network Facebook
talent network YouTube Channel
Party Planning, Entertainment Ideas Contact talent network, inc.

Selasa, 20 Desember 2011

Ed Palilla's "From the Outhouse to the Poorhouse" Five Best Christmas Movies | Part 2 (#'s 1 & 2)

Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Written by Ed Palilla, talent network news staff
Twitter @pittsburghace
Photo Sources: Amazon.com, Wikipedia
---

As we make our final decent in to Christmas this week, I wanted to give you a little bit of holiday help. So I came up with a comprehensive list of the 5 best Christmas movies to watch this year. You can read my post from Monday with movies 5 through 3.
Five Best Christmas Movies | Part 1 (#'s 3-5)

To make my list, I used 5 different categories and weighed them accordingly with abbreviations and possible points next to them in parentheses.
  • Rewatch-ability (RW: 5 pts)
  • Christmas connection (CC: 5)
  • Family watch-ability (FW: 5)
  • Tradition (TR: 8)
  • Entertainment (ET: 10).  

    2. Christmas Vacation [1989]

    33 points (RW 5; CC 5; FW 4; TR 8; ET 10)
    The best of all of the National Lampoon movies. Randy Quaid has several memorable scenes (The black mock turtleneck under the white sweater. Emptying his sewage in his bathrobe). Plus can you even see a house with Christmas decorations without thinking of Clark Griswold. 








    1. Home Alone [1990]

    33 points (RW 5; CC 5; FW 5; TR 8; ET 10)
    It made Macaulay Culkin the biggest star on planet and launched his career. Doesn’t matter if you are young or old, there is something for everyone to like about this one. Who doesn’t love watching a kid left by his parents who went on a trip to Paris, and is forced to defend his house from burglars by booby-trapping the burglars. Also, the most quotable of all the Christmas movies by far. I was going to dock it points for making a sequel, but I just blocked it out of my mind and pretend like it never happened.



    Follow talent network
    talent network Twitter
    talent network Facebook
    talent network YouTube Channel
    Party Planning, Entertainment Ideas Contact talent network, inc.

    Senin, 19 Desember 2011

    Ed Palilla's "From the Outhouse to the Poorhouse" Five Best Christmas Movies | Part 1 (#'s 3-5)

    Monday, December 19, 2011
    Written by Ed Palilla, talent network news staff
    Twitter @pittsburghace
    Photo Sources: MoviePosterdb, Supershopsite, Movie-List
    ---

    Every year there are lots of movies on TV for Christmas. Some are great, and we have been watching them since we could crawl (Rudolph, Frosty, Grinch, Charlie Brown, Mickey’s Christmas Carol). However, a lot are terrible. As we make our final decent in to Christmas this week, I wanted to give you a little bit of holiday help. So I came up with a comprehensive list of the 5 best Christmas movies to watch this year. Since you are reading this blog, I am going to assume you are over the age of 10, so I skewed the age demographic a little higher than kid’s movies. I have left plenty of good ones off, and you can destroy me in the comments for it, but at 28 years old I have a bit of a different movie taste at this point. There were a few old standards I kept. Because when it comes to Christmas movies, there are some you just can’t forget.

    To make my list, I used 5 different categories and weighed them accordingly with abbreviations and possible points next to them in parentheses.
    • Rewatch-ability (RW: 5 pts)
    • Christmas connection (CC: 5)
    • Family watch-ability (FW: 5)
    • Tradition (TR: 8)
    • Entertainment (ET: 10). 

    5. Bad Santa [2003] 

    18 points (RW 4; CC 3; FW 1; TR 1; ET 9)
    Not exactly the movie you show on Christmas Day with Grandma on the couch, but an awesome movie. It is main Billy Bob Thornton being Billy Bob Thornton. If your tired of seeing Frosty or Rudolph on for the 26th straight year in a row, grab your friends and a case of beer, Then throw this in and have a good laugh.
    Side note: This was the last movie the amazing John Ritter did before he passed. It was released 15 days after he died in 2003.




    4. Scrooged [1988] 

    22 points (RW 3; CC 5; FW 2; TR 5; ET 9)
    Bill Murray being Bill Murray. Created right in the middle of Murray’s prime (After Caddyshack, Stripes & Ghostbusters. Before Ghostbusters II, What About Bob? and Groundhog Day). A grow-up/real world spin on the Charles Dickens class A Christmas Carol. A bit of darkness to the movie too. But as I said before, Bill Murray is just awesome.







    3. A Christmas Story [1983] 

    30 points (RW 4; CC 5; FW 5; TR 8; ET 8)
    Let’s all give praise to TBS for showing it for 24 hours straight. (Ted Turner actually started doing it so his employees would not have to work on Christmas). It is as much a tradition as exchanging gifts anymore. A great watch with the family, or to avoid your family on Christmas. Plus it made you always wonder what would really happen if you put your tongue on a pole in the winter.






    Coming Tuesday December 20 -- Five Best Christmas Movies | Part 2 (#'s 1-2)


    Follow talent network
    talent network Twitter
    talent network Facebook
    talent network YouTube Channel
    Party Planning, Entertainment Ideas Contact talent network, inc.

    Kamis, 15 Desember 2011

    'Rich and Almost Famous' by Rich Miller | Blue Slide Park' Tour Spins Mac Miller Back to the 412

    Thursday, Decmber 15, 2011
    Written by Rich Miller, talent network news staff
    Twitter @rmillertime24

    ---

    Mac Miller Backstage PittsburghMac Miller’s Blue Slide Park Tour concluded this weekend at the North Shore’s Stage AE in front of a packed house anticipating the return of Pittsburgh’s new face on the hip-hop scene, and he did not disappoint.  Miller brought tons of energy put on a great show for the crowd, and his excitement for this show somehow over matched the collective excitement of the nearly 3,000 in attendance.  I was backstage for the show and actually was one of the first people Mac saw before he took the stage.  He was clearly overwhelmed with emotion when he invited me and several other people standing in the hallway on stage for Donald Trump during the encore.  This is what makes Mac cool.  Not because he invited guys on stage, every rapper does that.  In fact to quote my younger brother Timmy who was with me, “Clearly the more people you have dancing behind you, the better you are as a rapper, and even if you suck you still have the people.”  But because I was a tall white guy wearing a North Face who would have stuck out like Lindsay Lohan in church.  I respectfully declined telling him he would have to go on without me.


    I wanted to make this a real professional write up, but it would be a total injustice to the type of night it was.  At one point I was standing in VIP next to Wiz Khalifa’s mother and Sally Wiggin.  Sally is a very social person to say the least.  Although she may have had a contact high, this would be totally justifiable given the circumstances.  Sally actually wasn’t looking bad for a woman of her age…yeah I know I must have been high too. There were all sorts of local and upcoming rappers roaming around, and various other local celebrities.  It was sort of like a house party meets a family reunion.  Mac had plenty of support from the 412.

    The opening act was a local group called “The Come Up”.  I had never heard of them before, but they were good.  They had a few catchy songs, but what I liked was the originality, it didn’t sound like generic rap, which is the first step in me liking you.  Next up was Casey Veggies from Los Angeles.  I had some problems with his act, most notably his name being Casey Veggies.  I’m not sure how you can expect to be taken seriously as a rapper if your name is reminiscent of any type of edible platter, but Veggies is giving it his best shot.  I would have given him a pass on his name if his music weren’t reminiscent of Casey Anthony.  And by that I do not mean he killed it.  I mean I’d literally rather listen to Casey Anthony rap.

    Finally, Mac and his people made their way to the stage.  Timmy and I followed as if we were a part of it.  It was kind of/not really/somewhat like something out of “Almost Famous”, but this article is kind of/not really/somewhat like something out of “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas”.  Take a deep breath, think about it, ok, now keep reading.  He started the show with a few of his early You Tube hits; the opener was the song “Best Day Ever”.  He went on the perform “Spins”, “Nike’s On My Feet”, “Kool-Aid and Frozen Pizza”, “Senior Skip Day”, and “Knock-Knock”.  He then grabbed an electric guitar and jammed some classic hits by Biz Markie and Sublime, showing off some real skills while playing it behind his head.  Mac then went into songs off of Blue Slide Park including my favorites “Under the Weather”, “Man in the Hat”, and the title track from the album.

    He then of course finished with “Donald Trump”, one the songs credited with projecting him into the mainstream.  He already had a lot of people behind him, so I kept to my word and watched from the side of the stage.  The show ended and honestly was just as good as I expected it to be, but it was what happened after the show that really impressed me.  I learned earlier on that the night before he had donated $50,000 to Make-A-Wish in the middle of his show.  Once again outside of his dressing room after the show I overheard a parent of one the guys on his team talking about this, and how his goal is to make a difference for kids and other less fortunate people.  Also about some of their future plans with charity and giving back.  I asked if it was something new he was trying to use his celebrity for, or something that he had in mind from the beginning.  He said it was always a goal of Mac’s to make a positive change in the word.  As this conversation was ending Mac emerged from his dressing room cheesing like the cheeky bastard he is.  He slapped hands and chatted briefly with a few people as he passed through their ongoing…safety meetings.  A few people wanted to talk music and doing projects together, it really was like how many rappers portray it in their songs, random musicians waiting around after a show to ask for help getting to the next level.  He politely brushed them off to make his way to a family and some little kids to sign autographs.  It was another classy move by a classy guy.

    We hung out and chatted around for a while before Timmy and I suddenly got the inclination to go to Eat 'n Park.  Maybe we were influenced by the joy we saw in Mac getting back to his roots.  Maybe we were influenced by the magic in the air…from the safety meetings.  Either way we felt like a breakfast smile was a fitting end to the night full of hip-hop and Sally Wiggin. I don’t think anyone would argue with that.
     



    Mac Miller, Pittsburgh, Stage AE
    Mac Miller, Pittsburgh, Stage AE
    Mac Miller, Pittsburgh, Stage AE
    Mac Miller, Pittsburgh, Stage AE

    Jumat, 09 Desember 2011

    "A Biased Review" | The Black Eyed Peas

    December 09, 2011 
    Written by - Meat Park 
    Twitter - @meatpark 
    ---

    Black Eyed Peas Biased Review MeatParkHello again everyone.  I hope that you had an amazing Thanksgiving filled with family, friends and a ton of food.  There’s nothing quite like spending some quality time at home to realize why you moved out in the first place.

    I am writing today to give A Biased Review of the Black Eyed Peas since they recently announced that they’d be taking a “break”.  In order to get in the proper mood to write this post, I put on a playlist of their music, so forgive me if I come across as particularly angry (I have the hate machine running at full-speed).



     First things first, to call this group of people a “band” is an insult to all true musicians around the world.  I’m not going to say that the Black Eyed Peas is the worst thing to happen to us.  In fact, I can think of a few things worse off the top of my head (the Holocaust, Politics and tofu just to name a few).  The first time I saw the Black Eyed Peas onstage I thought to myself, “This certainly can’t be real; this is a parody by some very talented comedians.”  However, I was proven wrong fairly quickly as their terrible auto-tuned voices and repetitive banal lyrics were piped through my car speakers from local radio stations at no less than 10 songs per hour.

    The band was formed in 1995, so they’ve been around for over 15 years (again making me question my faith in humanity).  Since their inception, they’ve had 5 songs top the UK charts, they hold the record for having 2 songs at the top of the charts for 26 weeks and the album that contained “My Humps” went 4x Platinum.   For those of you unfamiliar with the band, they indeed have a song titled “My Humps” that is a story about the lead singer’s “lovely lady lumps.” (I wish I was making that up).

    This music has begun to give me an anxiety attack, so without further adieu, here’s the review.

    REVIEW:

    Lyrics – 0/5

    I could write a 45-page rant about how terrible the Black Eyed Peas lyrics are.  Instead, I’ll list a few of some of the very worst that I came across:

    “Monday Tuesday Wednesday and Thursday
    Friday, Saturday, Saturday to Sunday
    Get Get Get Get Get with us
    You know what we say say
    Party every day, pa-pa-pa-party everyday”

    “My hump, my hump, my hump (love),
    My humps they got you,”

    And finally, my two personal favorites (that I couldn’t decide between):

    “Let’s get retarded ha!
    Let’s get retarded in here!
    Let’s get retarded ha!
    Let’s get retarded in here!
    Let’s get retarded ha!
    Let’s get retarded in here!
    Let’s get retarded ha!
    Let’s get retarded in here!
    Yea”

    “I'm a be, I'm a be I'm a I'm a I'm a be.
    I'm a be, I'm a be I'm a I'm a I'm a be.
    I'm a be, I'm a be I'm a I'm a I'm a be.
    I'm a be be be be I'm a I'm a be.
    I'm a be be be be I'm a I'm a be.
    I'm a be be be be I'm a I'm a be.”

    Popularity – 3/5

    I had to put in a few categories that would make sure this review wasn’t a total of 0%. This is one of the ONLY things I could think of that would rank higher than a 0 or 1.  For some reason, this band is not only popular in the US, but has also broken a few records in terms of sales and chart-topping songs.

    Presentation – 0/5

    Here is something about the Black Eyed Peas that always blew my mind, for being as popular as they are, their presentation is garbage.  I was subjected to them during the 2011 Superbowl halftime show, and they not only sounded terrible, but their choreography and outfits were horrible.  I’m not sure who decided that sequins, mohawks, tight pants and outfits that have Christmas lights in them were “cool,” but that fashion designer deserves to pay for their crimes.  We all would’ve benefited with a wardrobe malfunction that ended with at least one on-stage electrocution, but that’s neither here nor there.  This performance was not only disturbing to watch, but I think it knocked my IQ down 10 – 15 points.   The linked video is only ONE live performance that I reviewed, and I’m assuming there’s hundreds more like it that just disappoint from top to bottom.

    I’m not going to get into it with regards to Fergie, as I have a feeling that my computer would light on fire if I talked about her.  Suffice to say, she did NOT help them in any way for this category.

    Patriotism Factor – 5/5

    As much as I hate to do it, this is the only category where the Black Eyed Peas get a perfect score.  As much as I dislike them, they’ve taken the fact that they have no discernible skills or talent, shoved it down America’s throat, and made millions of dollars in the process.  In this process, they have also exploited the lowest common denominator in our society, pandering to the dumbest group of people and causing the well-educated in our country to suffer.  Truly, the American Dream.

    Music – 0/5

    I tried to search for Black Eyed Peas – Instrumental music for this category but the internet hates this band so much it crashed my computer.  I can say that running music through a synthesizer is difficult; however I had a Casio Keyboard in 4th grade that played the music for “Boom Boom Pow.”

    Street Cred – 0/5

    You’re probably thinking, “Hey Meat, what gives YOU the right to judge someone on street cred?”  And that is a valid question.  To answer it, I’ll just remind you that I’m writing this post so I can pretty much do what I want.  I gave them a 0/5 on this category because I’m assuming any and all REAL bands (who play instruments, practice their craft and sing with their true voices) hate the Black Eyed Peas.  I didn’t get a chance to talk to all the bands in the world for this article, but I’d be hard-pressed to find a true musician who disagrees with me here.

    Overall Score – 26%

    This band is terrible.  If you are looking for good music, lyrics or presentation, there are literally THOUSANDS of groups out there that do it better than the Black Eyed Peas.  To clarify, I’m not saying that you’re a bad person for liking this band, but I AM saying that you and I probably don’t have a lot in common.  And I hope that we never have to have a conversation.

    In conclusion, “I Gotta Feeling” that if this band ever gets back together I’ll be the first one to tear my radio out of my car and throw it out the window. 
    Until next time, keep living the dream.

    -Meat


    RELATED:

    Black Eyed Peas Go On Hiatus After Star-Studded Miami Show

    Black Eyed Peas Experience review disappoints


    Follow talent network
    talent network Twitter
    talent network Facebook
    talent network YouTube Channel
    Party Planning, Entertainment Ideas Contact talent network, inc.

    Kamis, 08 Desember 2011

    "From the Outhouse to the Poorhouse" | Déjà vu: The Sequel Part II

    Thursday, December 08, 2011
    Written by Ed Palilla, talent network news staff
    Twitter @pittsburghace
    Photo Source: coverdude.com
    ---

    Hangover 2, Sequel Ed Palilla Rant    Stop me if you have heard this plot for a movie before: Group of guys blackout the night before a wedding of their friend; end up confused on the events of the night before because they were drugged; have to try to retrace their steps because someone is missing; as they begin to remember things, they recall how they got themselves into trouble the night before; the super conservative friend, a dentist, does something extremely radical he doesn’t remember; the group of guys has to call the bride-to-be to tell her they have lost an important person, until the dentist realizes what has happened and figures out where said person is; the group of guys then speeds back and gets there just in time for the wedding and the dentist friend confronts the father-of-the-bride.


      I know what you’re thinking. This is the plot for The Hangover, the highly successful comedy from 2009 featuring Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms and Zach Galifianakis. You, however, are incorrect.  This is the plot for The Hangover Part II, which came out on DVD this week. (In the first Hangover, Ed Helms’ character Stu does not confront the father-of-the-bride, but rather his demandingly insane girlfriend. There is your plot twist). If you have not seen Part II yet, then you were smarter than me and did not waste your money going to see it in theatres. This movie is worth a watch, but not $7.50 worth it like its original version was 2 years ago. It is, however, worth a watch from the comfort of your couch.

         Warner Brothers did exactly what most large movie studios do. They saw green. They saw how successful The Hangover was and decided to capitalize on it by making a sequel as quickly as they could. A very smart business strategy. WB doubled the budget for it (from $35M to $80M) and still managed to cash in with over $270M in box office revenue. However, they really didn’t put much effort into it. It looks like they hammered out the script over a long weekend, and filmed it in a week. I don’t know if it is the actors mailing it in, or just the repetitive plot, but you just don’t get the same feel with Part II.

        What Warner Brothers did with The Hangover sucks, but it is no different than any other movie. Generally, sequels to successful films are not nearly as good. Jurassic Park, The Fugitive, Transformers, Scream - all movies that had fantastic first versions, but the sequels were considered busts, regardless of the money made. The success of the originals causes studios to throw money at the second versions, but not time. The only times that movies have made sequels that have worked are films with plots that were already written. Usually these were part of a series of books. Harry Potter; Star Wars; The Lord of the Rings. (Even though Jurassic Park had a book for its sequel, The Lost World, the book was great but the script was poor.) 

        Unfortunately, this pattern is not going to change anytime soon. Studios are going to focus on movies that make money before movies that make critics happy. Hollywood is going to be more likely to green-light yet ANOTHER Tyler Perry movie than a sequel to a creative or controversial film that is willing to put the time and effort into it, because of the perceived income they can make. Let’s just hope that they don’t try to make a sequel to Jack and Jill.


    RELATED: (And Boom! Here Comes Number 3)
    Bradley Cooper Talks ‘Hangover 3′ Production Start Date & Setting
     

    Here, to quote, is what the actor had to say:

        “I hope we’re going start shooting in September [2012]. I know Todd Phillips is working on the script. We adhered to the formula in the second ['Hangover' movie], [and] the third would close the trilogy. I think it’ll take place in L.A. and not adhere to the structure, it might be different.”



    Follow talent network
    talent network Twitter
    talent network Facebook
    talent network YouTube Channel
    Party Planning, Entertainment Ideas Contact talent network, inc.

    Rabu, 23 November 2011

    'Rich and Almost Famous' | Weekly Mixed Bag by Rich Miller

    Wednesday, November 23, 2011
    Written by Rich Miller, talent network news staff
    Twitter @rmillertime24

    ---

    Welcome to the third helping of our new weekly column titled 'Rich and Almost Famous' by new staff writer Rich Miller. His column is a mixed bag of creative opinions on all that is entertainment and sports. You can follow Rich on Facebook and Twitter @RMillerTime24


    It is Thanksgiving week once again, my all-time favorite week of the calendar year. Not just because of the great food and the family time, but this glorious week somehow seems to take on a bi-polar personality. Thanksgiving Day, of course, is all about friends and family, giving thanks for the great things in life. The other days of this week however:

    First we have what is now known as White Wednesday, the biggest bar night of the year. Tonight, there is a good chance you will have the uncomfortable misfortune of sitting next to someone you may not have liked too much in high school, but fret not, do what I do and take advantage of the situation by buying them shots until they can do no more. Find solace in the ultimate revenge of making them sick on Thanksgiving. Yes, I'm awful, I know. If you find yourself sitting next to me tonight, you've been warned.

    We then have the social experiment that is Black Friday. It is the only time when it is completely acceptable to shove down old women to get the last 55" LG LED HDTV for 30% off. Personally I would rather go to an occupy Wall Street or UC Davis protest, the people there are much more friendly.

    On with life…

    * Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore are the latest Hollywood divorce case. The 15-year age gap clearly played a role in this as the two obviously had very different interests. For example, she's interested in quiet family time and he's interested in having sex with other women.

    * In other marriage "news," Kristin Cavallari, who is engaged again to Jay Cutler, is talking smack on the Kardashians for being attention whores. Hello pot, meet kettle:
    http://gawker.com/5860527/kristin-cavallari-declares-war-on-the-kardashians?tag=kardashians

    * The Super Committee could not solve our national debt crisis. Somewhere Rick Perry is sitting in a dark room thinking…Maybe, just maybe, we should call on Super---man.

    * North Korea has opened its borders to tourism. The national slogan was changed to attract tourists and the lyrics are from the song Hotel California: You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.

    * Happy trails to Regis Philbin. Regis is calling it quits this week after almost a lifetime on Live. Live was the go-to show if I was ever awake early enough in college to watch it. He even made Katie Lee Gifford slightly tolerable at 9 a.m., which is not exactly someone you want to see when you first wake up. Just ask Frank Gifford.

    * The greatest hockey player in the world returned to the league's already best team Monday, check out my article on what really makes Crosby the greatest at his position here:
    Crosby's Return Not All About Offensive on talent network news.

    Follow talent network
    talent network Twitter
    talent network Facebook
    talent network YouTube Channel
    Party Planning, Entertainment Ideas Contact talent network, inc.

    Selasa, 22 November 2011

    "From the Outhouse to the Poorhouse" | by new Staff Writer Ed Palilla.

    Tuesday, November 22, 2011
    Written by Ed Palilla, talent network news staff
    Twitter @pittsburghace
    ---

    'talent network news' would like to welcome Ed Palilla as our third new writer to the staff. We present to you "From the Outhouse to the Poorhouse," Ed's weekly dissection of the Hollywood. You can follow Ed on Facebook and Twitter @pittsburghace.


    " I found a copy of Adam Sandler's last movie when I finished in the outhouse" 

    While watching a Steeler game a few weeks ago, a commercialcame on for yet another atrocious Adam Sandler movie called Jack and Jill. I starting thinking aboutit and asked myself, “when did Adam Sandler stop being funny?” Before you say,“I liked Funny People” or “He hasmade a ton of good movies,” allow me to explain.



    Adam Sandler joined Saturday Night Live in 1990 as awriter and was doing skits on the show by 1991. His career on SNL lasted until1995. That grew into a fantastic run of comedy movies (1992-1999): Airheads; Billy Madison; Happy Gilmore;Bulletproof; The Wedding Singer; The Water Boy and Big Daddy.  

    After that, Sandler managed to make movies that got progressivelyworse as the years went on (2000 - ): 
    Little Nicky; Mr. Deeds; AngerManagement; 50 First Dates; The Longest Yard; Click; I Now Pronounce You Chuck& Larry; You Don’t Mess With the Zohan; Bedtime Stories; Grown Ups; Just GoWith It; and lastly Jack & Jill.

    Looking at this research, I came up with the realizationthat Adam Sandler has gone downhill as a comedic actor, beginning in 1999, andI think I’ve found out what happened to him: he might be the most egotisticalperson in Hollywood, and it got worse as the years went on. Look, even whenSandler made funny movies, he had the best at everything:

    Madison: Rich.
    Gilmore: Hit the ball 400 yards.
    Waterboy: Could not be blocked.
    Big Daddy: Before you get upset: Iknow that Sandler plays a down on his luck, toll-booth collector. But look atthe end of the movie. One year after the custody hearing, he is a lawyer at afirm in New York?? So he went from toll collector to big-time New York lawyerin 15 months. Again, he went though four years of undergrad, two years of lawschool, passed the bar, did his entry level/intern position and was already asuccessful lawyer in that a time. Please.

    It got worse as his movies got worse:
    Mr. Deeds: super rich.
    The Longest Yard: NFL QB that almostsingle-handedly beats an organized team of guards.
    Zohan: he was able to beat up anyonewho touched him.
    Chuck & Larry: he was thewomanizer that got five girls at a time.
    Grown-ups: he was the millionaireagent in LA married to Salma Hayek, while everyone else was broke.

    Take a look at 1999, because that’s when everythingstarted to change. That is when Big Daddywas released and that was Adam Sandler’s last truly funny movie. It is also theyear that Sandler decided to open his Happy Madison production company. I thinkthat once Adam Sandler was in charge of his own company and was the finaldecision maker, he could not get out of his own way. He was now in charge ofevery aspect of his films, including the script and character decisions. If youlook at those movies now, he seems to be very guarded on the hits and jokestaken against his characters. I think since he runs the company, no one wasthere to settle his ego, tell him when something is a bad joke and to stepback.

    Could it be that Adam Sandler went from being a verytalented comedic writer and actor, to not funny in a few short years? Could itbe that once he was in charge of his own production and making all thedecisions, nobody would tell him he is not funny anymore, and the bottomdropped out? Someone, somewhere within Happy Madison hadto think “I don’t know if Adam playing himself and his sister will be funny,”but no one is willing to say anything to Sandler. That is why it is his production company.

    His best movie, TheWedding Singer, he plays what everyone likes: A regular guy, with no money and a crappy life. That’s comedy,what people will laugh at. Also, look at the best movie made by Happy Madison: Grandma’sBoy. Down on his luck, broke guy has to move in with his grandma because hisroommate has spent all his rent money on Pilipino call girls. Throw in someraunchy jokes and a few people playing the right roles. It is a greatmovie.

    Now I understand that Sandler grew up, had kids and choseto gear some of his movies towards them and stop with some of the dirty jokes.That is understandable. But he never has been just a guy with a family and kidsand a job. I think for Adam Sandler to start to get respect back from hisoriginal fans, to be respected in the comic community, he needs to take a newdirection in his next movie. Play a guy who just gets divorced and loses hisjob and his house because of the economy, then moves in with his buddy (Irecommend his real life buddy, Adam Covert), and tries to start his life over. Theguy struggles with getting a job, getting women and being broke (you are goingto need some dirty jokes here. Sorry. This is 2011). Please Adam, for the sakeof comedy, please come back. Just don’t fire me, Mr. Sandler…

      
    Follow talent network
    talent network Twitter
    talent network Facebook
    talent network YouTube Channel
    Party Planning, Entertainment Ideas Contact talent network, inc.

    Kamis, 17 November 2011

    "A Biased Review" by new Staff Writer MeatPark | KFC Double Down

    November 17, 2011
    Written by MeatPark
    Source Credits - @meatpark
    ---

    'talent network news' would like to welcome a new writer to our staff: Pittsburgh native, MeatPark, who will be providing some humorous, unique (and maybe biased) insight to our blog. You can follow MeatPark on Twitter @meatpark.

    Hello everyone! You're probably wondering "Who is this guy, and what does he know about anything?" Well to answer your question, my name is Meat and I know everything about everything. My goal with these articles is to give you a VERY biased review on things that rule, and things that don't rule.

    I figured that I'd start with something I know very well. Probably too well, seeing that my nickname is Meat. I went out this week and tried a KFC Double Down. If you don't know what that is, Google it. Or if you're too lazy for that (which I know you are), here's a picture:

    KFC Double Down, Pittsburgh, MeatPark
    "The new KFC Double Down sandwich is real! This one-of-a-kind sandwich features two thick and juicy boneless white meat chicken filets (Original Recipe® or Grilled), two pieces of bacon, two melted slices of Monterey Jack and pepper jack cheese and Colonel's Sauce. This product is so meaty, there's no room for a bun!" - God

    As you can see, it looks pretty tasty. And this thing totally SCREAMS America.
    Fried chicken, bacon and cheese. Yes please.As I said, I ventured out to my nearest KFC to give one a try. (Just FYI, the crew and patrons of KFC on a Tuesday at 2:00pm is by no means the "A-Squad").

    KFC Double Down, Pittsburgh, MeatPark
    Giddy like a school girl.
    KFC Double Down, Pittsburgh, MeatPark
    I was a little upset because the cheese wasn't melted, but I got over it pretty quickly.
    KFC Double Down, Pittsburgh, MeatPark
    You can see it's actually pretty big. Compared to the size of my bear-claw, you can see it's a good size; it weighed around 1.5 lbs.
    KFC Double Down, Pittsburgh, MeatPark
    Try using THIS picture for your advertisements, KFC.
    KFC Double Down, Pittsburgh, MeatPark
    Obesity, for Science!
    REVIEW
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Presentation: 3/5
    I wish that my cheese had been melted. Overall, it was pretty close to what they had advertised. It looked like two fried chicken breasts with bacon and cheese in between them.

    Taste: 3/5
    It tasted like two fried chicken breasts with some bacon and cheese in between them. Need I say more?

    Price: 2/5
    The thieves at KFC are charging $4.99 for this bad-boy. I'd rather spend that kind of scratch on 5 junior bacon cheeseburgers.

    Fat-boy Filling Power: 3/5
    This hefty sandwich would probably be enough to fill up a normal person. But if you're over 200 lbs, there's a good chance you'll need a side dish to help you out.

    Patriotism Factor: 4.5/5
    As stated above, this "sandwich" is all about America. Fried food, CHECK. Bacon, CHECK. The ability to upset PETA for the gratuitous slaughter of millions of chicken, CHECK.

    Overall Score: 62%.
    If you're an American and you're overweight, try this thing. I wouldn't recommend getting it on a daily basis, but it's worth it if only to discuss with your other fat friends.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Now for those of you health nuts (and I know most of you are) screaming about how terrible this thing is for you, here's some information on the Double Down and other sandwiches that are served in this wonderful country:

    KFC's Original Recipe Double Down:
    540 calories, 32 g fat, 1,380 mg sodium 

    McDonalds Angus Bacon and Cheese Burger:
    790 calories, 39 g fat, 2,070 mg sodium

    Burger King Quad Stacker:
    930 calories, 65 g fat, 1,740 mg sodium (with a shocking 31g of sugar to boot) 

    Wendy's Classic Triple:
    970 calories, 59 g fat, 2,060 mg sodium

    As you can see, the Double Down is actually BETTER for you then some of the other big-boy sandwiches that are on the market - how scary is that?

    So there you have it, all the information you'll need to get out there and live like a true American.Until next time, keep living the dream.

    - Meat. 

    Follow talent network
    talent network Twitter
    talent network Facebook
    talent network YouTube Channel
    Party Planning, Entertainment Ideas Contact talent network, inc.